Reading Between The Lines

This picture is one brilliant result of memory and coincidence.

We were at Aseem’s house for lunch – his mother makes food that is to die for, and we have let him and his mother know about it. So you’ll often find us at his house waiting eagerly for food.

This was after we had our lunch. Too lazy to move and stuffed full with all the heavenly food we had consumed. Aseem has a nice collection of books and after he showed them to us, a few of us raided it, borrowing some books to take home.

And it's a universal rule that once you take your friend’s books back home, they become your property. To avoid that from happening, Aseem was taking everybody's picture with the books they had borrowed so he'd remember who had taken what and how many.

And this is the picture he clicked of me, when I was unaware. A real candid, as netizens would say. I'm not a photogenic person; I get awkward when I know a camera is trained on me and screw it up. When I saw this picture later, I felt this warmth, remembering that a cat had willingly come and slept in my lap. It was a novelty and a privilege.

I kept it as my display picture and a few days later, this other friend of mine, analysed the picture to its last pixel. I love how this guy’s brain works. He makes me feel less crazy.

He talked about balance. Between nature and technology. Between education and knowledge.

I'm right smack in the middle of it, on the line. Balancing it all.

And though it was an amazing analogy, it shook me to my soul. Because he had inadvertently, put across the most important thing – the ruse of it all.

I try, every single day of my life, to find a balance between extremities. To find the grey between all the black and white.

I try to find a balance between my heart and my brain.

Between my right and their wrong.

Between my good and their evil.

Between my strong and their weak.

And no matter how hard I try, I never seem to find the balance. Never seem to reach the murky yet comfortable grey.

So I always teeter on the edge. Swaying between the two. Getting my hands and feet dirty in the black and white.

Hoping that one day, maybe I'll swing far enough to blend the both into the grey I so desire.